this little life

I know first hand that there are days (some times many of them) where you feel like you can’t keep going. Your mind tells you there is no way through or no light at the end of the tunnel. But I am here to tell you, you can do this. We will work it out together: how to keep going on the days you think you can’t.

No matter how loud the thoughts in your head become – you are NOT alone. You are safe and you are loved.

You can get through this and things are going to get better.

If you feel unsafe or are in a crisis please use these links to find the support you need.

Our minds can be our best friend and worst enemy all at the same time. This lovely fact makes it a million times harder to know what thoughts to listen to, where they’re coming from and who to trust.

For this reason, it’s time get out of your head and into your body and the present moment!

“But how can I get out of my own head? I don’t have a clue how!”

That’s okay! There are a million ways and we’re going to find the one that works best for you. (and remember these can change. they don’t have to work forever just for right now – I’ll do another post on this soon)

Here are just a few to get us started…

10 things you can try to keep yourself going on the days you think you can’t.

1. GET OUTSIDE

Whether its for 20 seconds or 20 minutes, take a seat in nature, even if it’s raining!

Listen to all the sounds around you.

Can you find 5 things you think are beautiful.

If you can’t get outside, try just opening up a window. Let the air hit your face. Is it warm or cool?

Stay as long as you need.

2. GET CLEAN

You deserve to be clean – do not listen to the voice that tells you otherwise.

Try a cold shower if you’re looking for a wake up of the senses. (have a read about the benefits here if you like)

Try a warm shower if you’re in need of soothing and safety.

Stay as long as you need.

-getting clean is one of the biggest struggles in the world for me. Check out my post on Magic Showers for more advice if you feel any kind of similar.

3. EAT or COOK YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD

If you love to cook, take your time making your favourite dish. Pour all your focus into each action you are doing.

If you hate to cook, order in your favourite dish, take yourself on a cafe date or call up a friend to make something together with.

If none of this gives you hope or peace, just skip this suggestion there’s plenty other things to try.

4. PUT ON YOUR FAVOURITE CLOTHES

Dress up or dress down I do not mind. Sometimes the smallest of changes can make the biggest of difference.

Try a new colour, try a new style or bundle up in your favourite, cosiest jumper and sweats -the softer the better in my humble opinion.

Whatever makes YOU feel good, alive, comfortable, safe.

-and yes, if the answer is pyjamas that is totally acceptable. No matter where you are, what time of day it is or what day of the week – give it a try.

5. TALK TO SOMEONE

I know this one can feel like the hardest thing. Whatever you are thinking, I promise there are at least 5 more people than you think that are there for you.

If you can, reach out to a friend or a family member in whatever way you can.

If it’s the middle of the night and they can’t respond to you straight away, remember that. Sometimes even just sending a text to say how you’re feeling is enough to remind you of the connections you do have even if you don’t get a response straight away.

You can text SHOUT to 85258 for free any time, day or night and a trained volunteer will be there for you.

find more about how Shout works here.

6. MAKE SOMETHING

Draw something, paint something, sculpt something, do something.

Doodle on a tiny scrap of paper or make a giant mess on the floor.

Treat yourself to some new supplies or use whatever you can find.

It doesn’t have to be perfect and it doesn’t have to be good. Get your emotions out through something creative!

Try something new, or stick to what you love – it’s always worth a try.

7. WRITE SOMETHING

Whether it’s a pretty notebook or the back of a letter, get those thoughts out of your head and onto a page.

I like to just word vomit through my pen and just write down everything i think.

sometimes it’s easier to spot how extra hard on ourselves we are being when we see it in writing.

If you’re looking for something a little less ‘vomitty’ you can try one of these writing prompts from my favourite poet Rupi Kaur:

describe a moment in your life that felt like a movie.

how can you show up for yourself like you would for your best friend?

she has a beautiful collection of writing prompts available: check them out if you’re inspired – don’t freak out if you’re not

8. MOVE

One of the best things we can do in periods of feeling stuck, lost or low, is MOVE.

Work from where you are. Be gentle and kind with yourself.

If you can take yourself out for a 10 mile run – go for it. (you’re probably not reading this if you can)

If you can swirl your wrists or wriggle your toes – even better.

Move in whatever way feels good to you.

For me, that’s sticking on some music and moving my body without a care for what it looks like or a yoga video on youtube. For you, it can be absolutely anything. Listen to your body and learn what makes you feel good.

9. BREATHE

This doesn’t work for everyone and certainly didn’t for me at the beginning.

BUT mindful breathing is a really effective way of regulating the nervous system.

Try just taking 3 big breaths in through your nose for a count of 4 and out through your mouth, as if you were blowing through a straw, for a count of 6.

Headspace and Calm are really good apps to learn more about this.

10. CREATE A SAFE SPACE

The most important thing for me when I’m in a crisis is to make myself feel safe. My safe place is wrapped up in my duvet. When I’m there, wrapped in it’s softness, I know nothing bad can happen and there’s no danger. Unfortunately, I don’t always have my duvet on me…so, I try and recreate this on a smaller scale if I can’t get to the real thing straight away. I wrap myself in a jumper, touch something soft or just wrap my own arms around me.

It could be a whole room, a chair, an object, a crystal, a blanket, a corner.

Something that ignites feelings of safety, comfort and calm.

A space that supports you and holds you.

Okay that was a lot, sorry.

You don’t have to read me all at once. I’m always gonna be here so you can visit this page any time.

You don’t need all the answers, you just need 1cm of yourself to try.

There are so many things to keep going for.

You are going to find it.

One foot in front of the other. Half a day at a time.

You got this.

Thank you for spending time with me.

I hope this post gave you a little bit of hope and that you’ll stick with me to find all the beauty – good, bad and everything in between – in this little life.

If you have anything to share about this post : if it helped you or you have even more suggestions of how you keep yourself going on the days you think you can’t – I would love to hear from you, please feel free to comment below!