maybe ‘date yourself’ is the weirdest thing you’ve heard this week, or maybe I’ve got your attention, and you want to find out more?
I was definitely in the former club: weirdest thing; sounds lonely; I don’t like myself enough; not for me.
BUT
having tried it once so far (and it being an absolute fail – see video below), I’m a 100% converted fan.
So, whatever you’re thinking right now, stick with me because I promise you this is going to be a thing that will make you feel alive.
and yes, this is for all of you, whether you’re in a relationship or not!
what is a self date?
‘dating yourself’ is a less scary way of saying ‘spend some time with yourself’
I first heard of self dates when I read the book ‘The Artist’s Way’ by Julia Cameron.
To her, dating yourself is a tool for unlocking creativity,
but whether you’re an artist or not, the sentiment is the same.
a self date is a ‘solo expedition to explore something you’re interested in.’ – Julia Cameron
simple enough, right?
she suggests going on one self-date a week…but as you’re a pro at doing less now, let’s just aim to get out for one, shall we?
ask yourself “what sounds fun” – and then allow yourself to try it.
julia cameron
what’s so good about dating yourself?
taking your beautiful self on a date can help you:
- get to know yourself
- be more okay with your own company
- know yourself on a deeper level
- grow in confidence
- do new things
there are a million benefits to practicing self-love in this way,
but the best one for me is learning that no matter what life throws at me, I am enough. even if there is no one else around me, I am enough, and I will survive.
very real things that might make dating yourself uncomfortable and how to overcome them
before I treat you to my fail of a first self-date, there are some very real things that might hold you back from dating yourself. so, let’s talk about them and how we might over come them.
‘I’m not ready to leave the house’
that’s okay! there are no rules to where your date has to be.
grab a blanket and have a picnic-for-one outside. grab a book and cosy up in a corner, or set yourself up to watch a movie in your bed. go all out and build one of those pillow forts – always wanted to do that!
whatever you can handle, treat yourself with kindness. the only goal is to spend some time with yourself, whatever that looks like for you.
I’m too scared to be by myself
again, you can date yourself in the comfort of your own home or a safe space. you wanna fill yourself with love, not panic, so don’t push yourself too hard.
if you do want to get out somewhere, take a friend or someone you trust and go on a self-date together!
maybe you go for a walk but challenge yourselves not to talk to each other until you get home
or set yourself an activity like drawing and only share what you’ve done once you’re finished.
People will think I’m a loser *potential trigger warning, SA, please take care or skip this paragraph*
this is one of my biggest fears as a sexual abuse survivor. and as much as I can tell you that this definitely won’t be what anyone is thinking (because everyone is too busy worrying if they look like a loser), I know that doesn’t always cut it, and that’s okay.
if diving into a solo cinema trip fills you with anxiety, take your time and start with something smaller,
like a cup of tea at home or a walk round the block or even the garden.
you are a badass human being who is taking their own happiness into their own hands – nothing loserish about that, whatsoever.
if you have any other worries please let me know in the comments and I’ll keep adding advice here.
so in summary,
you are in control.
the only person you need to please, is yourself.
no matter what place you are in, or what your inner or outer voices tell you; you deserve happiness.
you deserve a 10/10 date with yourself.
so get out there (or stay in) and give it a go and tell me all about it in the comments!
well, you stuck with me til the end again so, as promised…
my first self date trip to theatre that did not go to plan:
not exactly what I had in mind, but I still felt so happy and full of life for taking this time out for myself, treating myself like a queen and doing something I never thought I’d be able to do!
inspired?
I want to hear all about your self-dates so please share with me in the comments below!